Maybe it's not a Loop, but a Spiral

I heard Kate Bowler on a podcast say “You don’t want to be stuck in a loop, maybe it could be a spiral.” And it shifted things for me.

Since Jan 2023 I have been dealing with flare-ups in my panic disorder. Something I have had since I was a young teen. At some points, it has been so severe I have been unable to leave my home, eat, or drive a car without severe panic. It at times has made my life feel unlivable.

It has taken me over a year and a half to develop a new life worth living. A life in which I feel grateful to be alive every single day. It hasn’t been easy. It’s taken a lot of hard work. It has taken countless books, a therapist, a psychiatrist, going off and on medication, physicians, & life changes to begin to understand the way my brain works.

This painting is about the loops we get stuck in. For me, it has been anxiety, panic, rumination, obsessive thoughts, fears, phobias & mental loops. For you, it could be thinking you're not good enough or obsessing over your weight, career, or family issues.

I’m not saying I am healed or everything is perfect now. But I am saying I am on a journey of healing and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, for the first time in a very long time. So I ask you, Maybe it's not a Loop, but a Spiral?

The Story Doesn't Serve Me Anymore

Gouache painting on craft paper

What stories have you been telling yourself? For years… for decades? Maybe you were told things as a child and you started to believe them. They shaped your identity. When you packed your bags they came with you. No matter where you went. These stories have hitched a ride and come along.

Gouache painting on craft paper

I am choosing to let go of them. The stories that no longer serve me.

Gouache painting on craft paper

Somewhere along the way, I began to believe I had to make beautiful things to speak to people, to make people hear me, understand me, or see me. But now I’m just going to show up as myself, and if people hear it, understand it, and see me, great. And if not, that’s great too.

Burnt Gouache painting on craft paper

Winnie The Pooh Art

“Any day spent with you is my favorite day.”— Winnie the Pooh

This year I have had the honor of doing many Winnie the Pooh commissions. Here are some of the paintings I have done.

Harry Potter Commisssion

This year I did my very first Harry Potter painting. I am so thrilled with how it came out. I hope to do more Harry Potter commissions in the future! Here are a few progress photos (including the preliminary composite) and the finished work.

16x20 Acrylic on Canvas, 2023

Summer in the Mitten

Here is a little plein air from my trip back home—watercolor, pen, and metallic watercolor on watercolor paper.

Come on Barbie Lets Go Party!

The Barbie movie came out on my birthday this year! Here were a few illustrations I drew in celebration. The costume design was amazing and the set design was incredible! Here’s to the highest grossing film directed by a female director!!

Painting With Glitter ✨

In the past two months, I have dove into the world of GLITTER! I wanted to attempt to “paint” with glitter. Needless to say it was a very experimental and messy task. I first started with creating ROAD TRIPPIN’ as a test. I had no idea if clear Elmer’s and glitter would work together on a surface like canvas, but it did!

From there I moved on to create a larger piece, DAY TRIPPIN’ as a final ode to the concept. I am happily surprised with how well these turned out. I am not sure if or when I will return to making another work in glitter. But it was a really fun and interesting process.

Nenookaasi

From the months of May to July I dedicated my time to a love letter to the Hummingbird.

A dedication to the Ruby-throated Hummingbird (Nenookaasi, in Ojibwe), snapdragons, and hollyhocks.

In North American Indigenous cultures the hummingbird symbolizes: healing, wisdom, and endurance. It is also seen as a messenger sent from the sky/heavens above.

SIZE: 16"x20" acrylic on canvas

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